I am in a bit of a melancholy mood today and can't seem to shake it. It started out by waking up to a pain day, after going to bed from a pain day yesterday. Then going into the studio and turning on my computer to find that it died again last night. Did I not learn my lessons the last time? Why have I not backed up my files for over a month? All my plans, schedules, photos, notes, etc. Gone.
Most of all though, is this nagging feeling that has been following me around for awhile now. What am I trying to accomplish here? Why am I doing what I am doing? Does what I do have any feeling behind it at all? Does it really say anything?
I pick up one of the pieces I have been working on but put it right back down again. What am I trying to do with this? I hang it on the board to look at it. I go to the next and don't even bother to pick it up. Everything seems stale right now, and none of it says anything to me. Some days I wonder if I am even an artist, or just a fake.